From Bystander to Upstander

In workplaces, speaking up against negative stereotypes, demeaning attitudes, and behaviours that marginalise, devalue or demean some individuals or groups is essential to fostering a culture of respect and inclusion. Being an upstander—someone who actively addresses these issues—can drive meaningful change by ensuring that harmful attitudes and behaviours do not go unchallenged. However, many people struggle to speak up, even when they recognise something is wrong. Understanding why people hesitate and learning effective strategies to move from bystander to upstander can empower more individuals to take action.

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Why Don’t People Speak Up?

Despite good intentions, people often remain silent in the face of harmful behaviour due to:

Fear of Retaliation – Concerns about workplace backlash, social isolation, or professional repercussions can deter people from taking a stand. This fear is especially strong in hierarchical environments where power dynamics discourage dissent.
Diffusion of Responsibility – When multiple people witness an incident, individuals may assume that someone else will intervene. This "bystander effect" often leads to collective inaction.
Uncertainty – People may hesitate if they are unsure whether what they witnessed is problematic or if they lack enough information to act. Doubting one's judgement or misinterpreting the situation can also lead to inaction.
Social Pressure – The desire to fit in and avoid conflict can deter people from speaking up, especially in group settings where silence is the norm. Peer pressure and cultural expectations can reinforce passivity.
Lack of Skills or Confidence – Some individuals feel unprepared or unsure about what to say or do in challenging situations. Without proper training or experience, stepping in can seem intimidating.

Moving from Bystander to Upstander

Overcoming the barriers that prevent moving from bystander to upstander requires intentional strategies that empower individuals to take action safely and effectively. Here are some key approaches:

1. The Direct Approach

Address the situation in the moment with clear, firm language. This approach is most effective when the upstander feels safe and confident in their ability to challenge harmful behaviour directly. It sets a strong boundary while fostering accountability and awareness. This approach makes it clear that biased language or behaviour is unacceptable while reinforcing a culture of respect and inclusion.

Effective Examples:

✅ Calling out a harmful assumption Scenario: A colleague says, “She got promoted because they needed a diversity hire.” Response: “That’s an unfair assumption. She earned that role based on her skills and experience.”

✅ Pushing back on exclusionary language Scenario: Someone says, “Men who want to get ahead shouldn't take parental leave.” Response: “That’s not true. Being an engaged parent is valuable for everyone, regardless of gender.”

✅ Reinforcing workplace values Scenario: A team member makes a joke at the expense of a minority group. Response: “That joke is based on a harmful stereotype, and we want to create a space where everyone feels respected.”

✅ Addressing unintended harm Scenario: A colleague refers to a group in a way that could be offensive. Response: “I know you may not have meant harm, but that term can be alienating. Let’s use language that includes everyone.”

✅ Setting a standard for inclusivity Scenario: Someone dismisses concerns about bias by saying, “People are too sensitive these days.” Response: “It’s not about sensitivity; it’s about respect. Let’s ensure our words and actions align with the inclusive workplace we’re building.”

2. The Disrupt Approach

Challenge the behaviour by reframing, rephrasing, or redirecting the conversation. This approach helps to address ingrained biases without escalating conflict or triggering defensiveness. By offering an alternative perspective, you encourage reflection and shift the discussion toward a more inclusive mindset.

Effective Examples:

✅ Reframing a stereotype Scenario: A colleague says, “Women just aren’t as assertive as men in leadership roles.” Response: “Actually, leadership comes in many styles. Some of the most effective leaders lead with collaboration and empathy, which are powerful strengths.”

✅ Redirecting the conversation Scenario: In a team meeting, someone dismisses an idea by saying, “That sounds too emotional.” Response: “It sounds like there’s a lot of passion behind that idea—let’s explore how it can contribute to our goals.”

✅ Encouraging inclusivity Scenario: A colleague jokes about an accent, saying, “I can barely understand them.” Response: “Different accents bring diverse perspectives. What they’re saying is really insightful—let’s focus on their ideas.”

✅ Inviting reflection Scenario: Someone makes a generalisation, such as, “You know how ‘they’ are.” Response: “I’m curious—who do you mean by ‘they’? Everyone’s experience is different.”

3. The Delegate Approach

Another way to move from bystander to upstander involves seeking support from someone with authority or influence to address the situation. This method is especially useful in workplaces or institutions with established reporting mechanisms, ensuring that concerns are handled appropriately and systematically. It reinforces accountability while protecting individuals from potential retaliation.

Effective Examples:

✅ Escalating a pattern of behaviour Scenario: A colleague consistently makes inappropriate comments about women in leadership. Response to a manager: “I’ve noticed repeated comments that undermine female leaders. I’d like to discuss how we can reinforce a culture of respect in our team.”

✅ Involving HR when needed Scenario: A team member repeatedly uses offensive language despite being asked to stop. Response to HR: “I want to flag an ongoing issue. Despite multiple attempts to address it directly, this language persists, and it’s creating a hostile work environment.”

✅ Engaging a trusted leader Scenario: A junior employee shares that they feel marginalised but are afraid to speak up. Response to a senior leader: “One of our team members has expressed concerns about exclusion. I’d like to explore ways to ensure they feel heard and supported.”

✅ Leveraging institutional policies Scenario: A manager overlooks diverse candidates for promotions. Response to leadership: “I’ve noticed a trend in our promotion decisions that doesn’t reflect our diversity goals. How can we address this to ensure fairness in advancement opportunities?”

✅ Seeking allyship from influential colleagues Scenario: A peer witnesses discrimination but hesitates to act. Response: “This issue needs to be addressed. Would you be willing to support me in raising it with leadership?”

4. The Delay Approach

If speaking up in the moment isn’t safe or feasible, moving from bystander to upstander afterward can still make a meaningful impact. A delayed response allows for thoughtful engagement, provides support to those affected, and reinforces a culture of accountability and inclusion.

Effective Examples:

✅ Checking in with the affected person Scenario: A colleague was interrupted or dismissed in a meeting. Response (afterward): “I noticed your idea wasn’t acknowledged earlier. I thought it was valuable—would you like me to back you up in the next discussion?”

✅ Providing reassurance Scenario: A coworker was the target of a biased remark. Response (privately): “I want to check in on you. What happened earlier wasn’t okay, and I’m here to support you however you need.”

✅ Following up with the person who made the remark Scenario: A colleague made an offensive joke, and addressing it in the moment wasn’t possible. Response (later): “I wanted to revisit something from earlier—your comment could have been hurtful. I know that’s not what you intended, so I thought it was worth bringing up.”

✅ Encouraging reflection Scenario: Someone displayed biased behaviour, but calling it out in real time wasn’t practical. Response (one-on-one): “I’ve been thinking about our conversation earlier. I’d love to talk about how we can make sure our language and actions align with our values of inclusion.”

✅ Revisiting the situation with leadership Scenario: An incident created an uncomfortable or exclusionary environment. Response (to a manager or HR): “There was a situation earlier that I didn’t get a chance to address at the time, but I think it’s important we discuss how to prevent it from happening again.”

5. The Document Approach

Keeping a record of inappropriate behaviour helps ensure accountability, especially when addressing patterns of exclusion or discrimination. Documentation provides concrete evidence that can support complaints, policy changes, or necessary interventions. This approach is particularly useful in workplaces with formal reporting structures.

Effective Examples:

✅ Recording details for future action Scenario: A colleague repeatedly makes discriminatory comments, but no action has been taken yet. Response (privately): "I’m going to document each instance, including dates, times, and what was said. This will help ensure there's a clear record if further action is needed."

✅ Supporting formal complaints Scenario: A manager consistently overlooks women for leadership opportunities. Response (to HR or leadership): "I’ve noticed a pattern where female employees are passed over for promotions. I’ve documented specific instances and would like to discuss how we can address this."

✅ Tracking microaggressions or exclusionary behaviour Scenario: A coworker frequently interrupts or dismisses contributions from marginalised colleagues. Response (privately or in a report): "Over the last few weeks, I’ve noted multiple times when certain voices weren’t given space in discussions. Here are some examples we should review."

✅ Building a case for systemic change Scenario: Policies disproportionately disadvantage a particular group of employees. Response (to leadership): "I’ve been keeping track of how our policies impact different groups. The data suggests we need to revisit some of these structures to ensure fairness."

✅ Encouraging others to document Scenario: A team member shares concerns about workplace bias but fears speaking up alone. Response: "I believe you, and I encourage you to write down details when these situations happen. Having a record can strengthen any actions we take."